My will vs. God's will

We are creatures of habit.  Fortunately, through my life I have developed a habit of searching for the meaning of life.  What's it all about.  A higher plane of living.  Unfortunately, I spent a lot of time looking for this outside of God and Christ.  But, I have to admit, I have a greater understanding and love for my Catholic family tradition and spirituality today than most that have not taken the road less traveled.

As well, unfortunately, while traveling on this road, I have had a lot of practice of following my own will.  In the last 3 years, I have been learning to listen for God's will and to silence myself so I can.  When I first came back to the Church, I had one and only one real prayer (ok, two)

1. God, bless let me hear your  voice.

2. Please give me a spouse/partner in life.

But the main prayer was the first prayer.  I prayed it before Mass every Sunday, and almost every evening.  God answers his prayers, but in His will not our will.  By giving me trials in life, I have learned to turn to Him and let the Holy Spirit guide me so that I can find his will in my life.  

Today I find it much easier to live in his will.  Things that I thought were not sinful or poor behavior, today is.  I find myself wanting to stay way from things that will distance me from God, or put a wedge between our relationship.  I can actually say today that I have a "relationship" with Christ.

Today, I am praying to keep my mind and heart open to love, for the answer for prayer 2, by living His will.  In the past, I have used my will to look for love.  This goes hand in hand to the old saying "Looking for love in all the wrong places".  I am praying that God will lead me to the love that my soul desires.  The one that he has made me for.  God does not want us to be alone.  He created man and women to live together and share in His Love.  Today, I am not looking for love, but for the Light of our Blessed Mother and Christ to lead me to that love.  Keeping my heart open to ideals and situations that I would in the past have closed my heart off to, cause it didn't follow my will.

As I remain in Him and His love, He shall remain in me.  Christ will lead me to true love.

Supplication,

Please Lord fill my heart with your Divine love.  Lead me to the earthly love that my heart craves, but let your Love be full filling and all desiring.   Help me to live your will, and open my heart to the love you desire for my life.  Blessed Mother, guide me to your Son's ever lasting Light, that illuminates the mind and magnifies my soul.  St. Joesph, when I do find that love, please guide me in it.  To be fully attentive to her, to protect her and guide her as you guided our Blessed Mother through the dessert back to the place of your birth so that our Lord could be born in safety.  

In Christ I petition.